it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
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I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize