She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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