Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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