I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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