Your mouth is God's brothel.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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