Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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