Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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