She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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