pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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