Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Sext me about skeletons
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
