In the future we'll all be gay
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
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