It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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