Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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