did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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