garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
