And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
