Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
