So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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