So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
