I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
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Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
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IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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