somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
whose parrot is this?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
