she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Randomize
