You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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