i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
