i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
