i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It's blow job season.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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