where am i from again
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
