5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
