i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize