And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
