You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
