Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
