So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Bring me that man meat
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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