just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
