i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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