between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
