it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
