That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
