Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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