I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
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ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
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I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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