Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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