allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Also, beer. Big fan.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize