he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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