I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
