I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
