remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
there is glitter all over my balls
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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