You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
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his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
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I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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