Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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