Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize