Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Also, beer. Big fan.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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