dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
3 2 1 whiskey
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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