Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
