He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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