Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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