He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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