Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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