sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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