You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
