wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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